This book was visceral, to me. It was like a hand reaching in and touching all the hurt, scraping at it, and then holding out a hand and saying “Me too. It’s ok. Me too,” in such a cathartic way. As a teenager, in this day and age, it’s hard to be “happy”. Or, at least, happy all the time, consistently, in a straightforward, contained way. This book sees messy corners and directs the harsh light toward them, instead of away. It’s achingly human.
Seb, the main character, is by no means perfect. He’s awkward, much too talkative, much too polite. He is one of those people who always says the wrong thing, one of those people who agonizes about it forever afterwards. He is constantly critiquing everything he does, says, and is. He is too much and not enough and always the wrong shape. He has been told a million times, silently, that there is something wrong with him, that he should be some other sort of way. He has tried to become that “other sort of way”. And it takes a tremendous amount of strength to be that way, like a rock standing strong against the erosion of the tide.
HappyHead is a terrifying “What If?” brought into vivid reality–something like a nightmare of pristine white walls and plastic smiles. It’s about happiness and unhappiness, and what it means when the sources of those are decided for you. It’s about finding your own way and being stubbornly yourself, as a young person in a world that isn’t yet for you. It’s about questions. It’s about hiding and being found and all the spaces in between. It’s about living through the terror, through the hurt. It’s about joy in dark places, a flower growing in between the cracks of a sidewalk.
This is for you, if you’ve always hid yourself. This is for you, if you’re too sensitive, or feel too much or too wildly. This is for you, if you dare to feel outside the lines. This is for you, if you aren’t perfect and are tired of trying to be. This is for you, if you’ve ever been afraid to fight. This is for you, if you’ve ever been afraid of never seeing a friend again. This is for you, if you want and want and want so hard you could burst. If this is for you, I hope it finds you. 🙂
Review by Grace C.






